{"id":5273,"date":"2021-06-06T20:31:26","date_gmt":"2021-06-06T20:31:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mamman.is\/?p=5273"},"modified":"2021-06-06T20:32:22","modified_gmt":"2021-06-06T20:32:22","slug":"thegar-vid-saerum-bornin-okkar-ovart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mamman.is\/?p=5273","title":{"rendered":"\u00deegar vi\u00f0 s\u00e6rum b\u00f6rnin okkar \u00f3vart"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Alveg sama hversu miki\u00f0 vi\u00f0 viljum verja b\u00f6rnin okkar munu \u00f3h\u00f6pp alltaf eiga s\u00e9r sta\u00f0. N\u00fd ranns\u00f3kn s\u00fdnir \u00fe\u00f3 a\u00f0 sektarkennd foreldra hj\u00e1lpar engum, barninu ekki heldur. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Allir foreldrar fara \u00ed tilfinningalegt uppn\u00e1m \u00feegar eitthva\u00f0 hendir b\u00f6rnin \u00feeirra. Aftur \u00e1 m\u00f3ti, \u00feegar foreldrar sj\u00e1lfir eiga s\u00f6kina getur sektarkennd og s\u00e1rsaukinn veri\u00f0 \u00f3b\u00e6rilegur. Ef \u00fe\u00fa hefur \u00f3vart s\u00e6rt barni\u00f0 \u00feitt m\u00e1ttu samt vita a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ert ekki ein\/n og \u00fea\u00f0 er \u00fdmislegt h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 gera til a\u00f0 komast yfir sektarkenndina og s\u00e1rsaukann sem \u00fe\u00fa finnur fyrir.<\/p>\n

B\u00f6rn detta, hlaupa \u00e1 eitthva\u00f0 og meira a\u00f0 segja falla \u00far h\u00f6ndunum \u00e1 okkur \u2013 og allt \u00feetta er e\u00f0lilegt. Og, eins og slysin sem gera ekki bo\u00f0 \u00e1 undan s\u00e9r, kemur sektarkenndin eftir a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 ur\u00f0um \u00feess valdandi a\u00f0 barni\u00f0 fann til \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt.<\/p>\n

Samkv\u00e6mt\u00a0Healthline<\/a>,er tala\u00f0 um \u201emom guilt\u201cfyrir \u00fe\u00e1 sektarkennd sem a\u00f0allega m\u00f6mmur finna fyrir, \u00feessi tilfinning a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 s\u00e9um ekki a\u00f0 gera n\u00e6gilega miki\u00f0 sem m\u00e6\u00f0ur. \u00dea\u00f0 getur veri\u00f0 eins og m\u00e6\u00f0rum finnist auka byr\u00f0i \u00e1 her\u00f0um s\u00e9r og fullt af hugsunum sn\u00faast um \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u201e\u00e6tti\u201c a\u00f0 gera. Ef vi\u00f0 l\u00e1tum eftir \u00feessari tilfinningu og l\u00e1tum hana n\u00e1 t\u00f6kunum geta aflei\u00f0ingarnar veri\u00f0 skelfilegar. Samt sem \u00e1\u00f0ur s\u00fdnir ranns\u00f3knin a\u00f0 svona sektarkennd hj\u00e1lpar okkur ekki a\u00f0 hugsa eitthva\u00f0 betur um b\u00f6rnin okkar e\u00f0a hefur \u00e1hrif \u00e1 hvernig vi\u00f0 heg\u00f0um okkur \u00ed framt\u00ed\u00f0inni.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

St\u00f6\u00f0vum neikv\u00e6\u00f0u hugsanirnar<\/strong><\/p>\n

Samkv\u00e6mt foreldrablogginu Steps to Self<\/a>\u00a0geta m\u00e6\u00f0ur fundi\u00f0 fyrir \u00feessari sektarkennd eftir a\u00f0 hafa \u00f3vart ska\u00f0a\u00f0 barni\u00f0, en \u00fe\u00e6r geta hinsvegar skora\u00f0 \u00feessar neikv\u00e6\u00f0u hugsanir \u00e1 h\u00f3lm sem s\u00e6kja \u00e1 eftir atviki\u00f0. \u00de\u00e6r \u00e6ttu a\u00f0 spyrja sig sj\u00e1lfar hvort \u201e\u00e9g hef\u00f0i \u00e1tt a\u00f0\u201c og \u201e\u00e9g hef\u00f0i aldrei\u201c hugsanir og setningar sem koma \u00ed hausinn s\u00e9u sanngjarnar. \u00cd m\u00f6rgum tilfellum eru \u00fe\u00e6r \u00fea\u00f0 ekki og me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 bera kennsl \u00e1 \u00feessar hugsanir er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 \u201esvara\u201c \u00feeim og st\u00f6\u00f0va \u00fe\u00e6r. \u00deannig er l\u00edka h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 halda \u00e1fram eftir eitthvert lei\u00f0indaatvik.<\/p>\n

Ekki hafa ford\u00f3ma gagnvart sj\u00e1lfri \u00fe\u00e9r<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00e6st skaltu hugsa \u2013 hvernig myndir \u00fe\u00fa koma fram vi\u00f0 vin \u00ed s\u00f6mu st\u00f6\u00f0u. \u00de\u00fa myndir ekki saka m\u00f3\u00f0ur um a\u00f0 vera sl\u00e6m, er \u00fea\u00f0? Sennilega ekki. \u00cd sta\u00f0 myndir\u00f0u segja vi\u00f0 vininn e\u00f0a vinkonuna a\u00f0 slysin geti gerst. Me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 taka \u00feetta sj\u00f3narhorn fyrir me\u00f0 \u00feig sj\u00e1lfa er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 endurramma \u00feessar hugsanir sem eru fullar af sektarkennd og s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00ed sta\u00f0inn hlutina \u00e1 r\u00f6kr\u00e9ttan h\u00e1tt.<\/p>\n

Fyrirgef\u00f0u og l\u00e6r\u00f0u<\/strong><\/p>\n

Og a\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfs\u00f6g\u00f0u \u00fearftu a\u00f0 taka \u00fe\u00e9r t\u00edma til a\u00f0 fyrirgefa sj\u00e1lfri \u00fe\u00e9r um lei\u00f0 og allt r\u00f3ast. Me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 fyrirgefa \u00fe\u00e9r sj\u00e1lfri getur\u00f0u r\u00f3a\u00f0 tilfinningarnar sem \u00f3lga og laga\u00f0 s\u00e1rsaukann. \u00der\u00e1tt fyrir a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 afskaplega erfitt a\u00f0 fyrirgefa s\u00e9r fyrir a\u00f0 hafa valdi\u00f0 barninu \u00fe\u00ednu ska\u00f0a, er \u00fea\u00f0 m\u00f6gulegt me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 einbeita s\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed. \u00deetta er hreinlega hluti af foreldrahlutverkinu.<\/p>\n

Hvernig \u00e1 a\u00f0 hj\u00e1lpa b\u00f6rnum eftir erfitt atvik<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00de\u00f3 sektarkenndin vegi \u00feungt er \u00fea\u00f0 bara helmingurinn. \u00de\u00fa ver\u00f0ur a\u00f0 einbeita \u00fe\u00e9r a\u00f0 barninu. Ef \u00fe\u00fa ert ekki viss um hva\u00f0 gera skal er best a\u00f0 hlusta \u00e1 barni\u00f0 og heyra hli\u00f0 \u00feess. A\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a um s\u00e1rsaukann hj\u00e1lpar barninu og gefur \u00fe\u00e9r svigr\u00fam til a\u00f0 s\u00fdna \u00fev\u00ed samkennd. \u00deetta er mikilv\u00e6gt fyrir ykkur b\u00e6\u00f0i. Um lei\u00f0 og barni\u00f0 deilir tilfinningum s\u00ednum, taktu \u00e1byrg\u00f0 \u00e1 mist\u00f6kunum og biddu barni\u00f0 afs\u00f6kunar. A\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa setjir \u00feig \u00ed \u00feessa st\u00f6\u00f0u hj\u00e1lpar barninu a\u00f0 finna a\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 hlusta\u00f0 og \u00fea\u00f0 hj\u00e1lpar tengingunni ykkar \u00e1 milli. A\u00f0 bi\u00f0jast afs\u00f6kunar s\u00fdnir au\u00f0m\u00fdkt og \u00fear af lei\u00f0andi geta n\u00e6stu skref veri\u00f0 tekin.<\/p>\n

\u00dev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur, eins og sagt var \u00ed upphafi, munum vi\u00f0 alltaf valda b\u00f6rnunum okkar vonbrig\u00f0um \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt \u00e1 l\u00edfslei\u00f0inni. Ef \u00fe\u00fa getur \u00e1tt vi\u00f0 sektarkenndina og raunverulega be\u00f0ist afs\u00f6kunar geti\u00f0 \u00fei\u00f0 b\u00e6\u00f0i haldi\u00f0 \u00e1fram og noti\u00f0 l\u00edfsins.<\/p>\n

Heimild: Parents.com<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Alveg sama hversu miki\u00f0 vi\u00f0 viljum verja b\u00f6rnin okkar munu \u00f3h\u00f6pp alltaf eiga s\u00e9r sta\u00f0. N\u00fd ranns\u00f3kn s\u00fdnir \u00fe\u00f3 a\u00f0 sektarkennd foreldra hj\u00e1lpar engum, barninu ekki heldur. Allir foreldrar fara \u00ed tilfinningalegt uppn\u00e1m \u00feegar eitthva\u00f0 hendir b\u00f6rnin \u00feeirra. Aftur \u00e1 m\u00f3ti, \u00feegar foreldrar sj\u00e1lfir eiga s\u00f6kina getur sektarkennd og s\u00e1rsaukinn veri\u00f0 \u00f3b\u00e6rilegur. Ef \u00fe\u00fa hefur […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5274,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"

Alveg sama hversu miki\u00f0 vi\u00f0 viljum verja b\u00f6rnin okkar munu \u00f3h\u00f6pp alltaf eiga s\u00e9r sta\u00f0. N\u00fd ranns\u00f3kn s\u00fdnir \u00fe\u00f3 a\u00f0 sektarkennd foreldra hj\u00e1lpar engum, barninu ekki heldur. <\/strong><\/p>

Allir foreldrar fara \u00ed tilfinningalegt uppn\u00e1m \u00feegar eitthva\u00f0 hendir b\u00f6rnin \u00feeirra. Aftur \u00e1 m\u00f3ti, \u00feegar foreldrar sj\u00e1lfir eiga s\u00f6kina getur sektarkennd og s\u00e1rsaukinn veri\u00f0 \u00f3b\u00e6rilegur. Ef \u00fe\u00fa hefur \u00f3vart s\u00e6rt barni\u00f0 \u00feitt m\u00e1ttu samt vita a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ert ekki ein\/n og \u00fea\u00f0 er \u00fdmislegt h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 gera til a\u00f0 komast yfir sektarkenndina og s\u00e1rsaukann sem \u00fe\u00fa finnur fyrir.<\/p>

B\u00f6rn detta, hlaupa \u00e1 eitthva\u00f0 og meira a\u00f0 segja falla \u00far h\u00f6ndunum \u00e1 okkur \u2013 og allt \u00feetta er e\u00f0lilegt. Og, eins og slysin sem gera ekki bo\u00f0 \u00e1 undan s\u00e9r, kemur sektarkenndin eftir a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 ur\u00f0um \u00feess valdandi a\u00f0 barni\u00f0 fann til \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt.<\/p>

Samkv\u00e6mt\u00a0Healthline<\/a>,er tala\u00f0 um \u201emom guilt\u201cfyrir \u00fe\u00e1 sektarkennd sem a\u00f0allega m\u00f6mmur finna fyrir, \u00feessi tilfinning a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 s\u00e9um ekki a\u00f0 gera n\u00e6gilega miki\u00f0 sem m\u00e6\u00f0ur. \u00dea\u00f0 getur veri\u00f0 eins og m\u00e6\u00f0rum finnist auka byr\u00f0i \u00e1 her\u00f0um s\u00e9r og fullt af hugsunum sn\u00faast um \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u201e\u00e6tti\u201c a\u00f0 gera. Ef vi\u00f0 l\u00e1tum eftir \u00feessari tilfinningu og l\u00e1tum hana n\u00e1 t\u00f6kunum geta aflei\u00f0ingarnar veri\u00f0 skelfilegar. Samt sem \u00e1\u00f0ur s\u00fdnir ranns\u00f3knin a\u00f0 svona sektarkennd hj\u00e1lpar okkur ekki a\u00f0 hugsa eitthva\u00f0 betur um b\u00f6rnin okkar e\u00f0a hefur \u00e1hrif \u00e1 hvernig vi\u00f0 heg\u00f0um okkur \u00ed framt\u00ed\u00f0inni.<\/p>

St\u00f6\u00f0vum neikv\u00e6\u00f0u hugsanirnar<\/strong><\/p>

Samkv\u00e6mt foreldrablogginu Steps to Self<\/a>\u00a0geta m\u00e6\u00f0ur fundi\u00f0 fyrir \u00feessari sektarkennd eftir a\u00f0 hafa \u00f3vart ska\u00f0a\u00f0 barni\u00f0, en \u00fe\u00e6r geta hinsvegar skora\u00f0 \u00feessar neikv\u00e6\u00f0u hugsanir \u00e1 h\u00f3lm sem s\u00e6kja \u00e1 eftir atviki\u00f0. \u00de\u00e6r \u00e6ttu a\u00f0 spyrja sig sj\u00e1lfar hvort \u201e\u00e9g hef\u00f0i \u00e1tt a\u00f0\u201c og \u201e\u00e9g hef\u00f0i aldrei\u201c hugsanir og setningar sem koma \u00ed hausinn s\u00e9u sanngjarnar. \u00cd m\u00f6rgum tilfellum eru \u00fe\u00e6r \u00fea\u00f0 ekki og me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 bera kennsl \u00e1 \u00feessar hugsanir er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 \u201esvara\u201c \u00feeim og st\u00f6\u00f0va \u00fe\u00e6r. \u00deannig er l\u00edka h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 halda \u00e1fram eftir eitthvert lei\u00f0indaatvik.<\/p>

Ekki hafa ford\u00f3ma gagnvart sj\u00e1lfri \u00fe\u00e9r<\/strong><\/p>

N\u00e6st skaltu hugsa \u2013 hvernig myndir \u00fe\u00fa koma fram vi\u00f0 vin \u00ed s\u00f6mu st\u00f6\u00f0u. \u00de\u00fa myndir ekki saka m\u00f3\u00f0ur um a\u00f0 vera sl\u00e6m, er \u00fea\u00f0? Sennilega ekki. \u00cd sta\u00f0 myndir\u00f0u segja vi\u00f0 vininn e\u00f0a vinkonuna a\u00f0 slysin geti gerst. Me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 taka \u00feetta sj\u00f3narhorn fyrir me\u00f0 \u00feig sj\u00e1lfa er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 endurramma \u00feessar hugsanir sem eru fullar af sektarkennd og s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00ed sta\u00f0inn hlutina \u00e1 r\u00f6kr\u00e9ttan h\u00e1tt.<\/p>

Fyrirgef\u00f0u og l\u00e6r\u00f0u<\/strong><\/p>

Og a\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfs\u00f6g\u00f0u \u00fearftu a\u00f0 taka \u00fe\u00e9r t\u00edma til a\u00f0 fyrirgefa sj\u00e1lfri \u00fe\u00e9r um lei\u00f0 og allt r\u00f3ast. Me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 fyrirgefa \u00fe\u00e9r sj\u00e1lfri getur\u00f0u r\u00f3a\u00f0 tilfinningarnar sem \u00f3lga og laga\u00f0 s\u00e1rsaukann. \u00der\u00e1tt fyrir a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 afskaplega erfitt a\u00f0 fyrirgefa s\u00e9r fyrir a\u00f0 hafa valdi\u00f0 barninu \u00fe\u00ednu ska\u00f0a, er \u00fea\u00f0 m\u00f6gulegt me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 einbeita s\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed. \u00deetta er hreinlega hluti af foreldrahlutverkinu.<\/p>

Hvernig \u00e1 a\u00f0 hj\u00e1lpa b\u00f6rnum eftir erfitt atvik<\/strong><\/p>

\u00de\u00f3 sektarkenndin vegi \u00feungt er \u00fea\u00f0 bara helmingurinn. \u00de\u00fa ver\u00f0ur a\u00f0 einbeita \u00fe\u00e9r a\u00f0 barninu. Ef \u00fe\u00fa ert ekki viss um hva\u00f0 gera skal er best a\u00f0 hlusta \u00e1 barni\u00f0 og heyra hli\u00f0 \u00feess. A\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a um s\u00e1rsaukann hj\u00e1lpar barninu og gefur \u00fe\u00e9r svigr\u00fam til a\u00f0 s\u00fdna \u00fev\u00ed samkennd. \u00deetta er mikilv\u00e6gt fyrir ykkur b\u00e6\u00f0i. Um lei\u00f0 og barni\u00f0 deilir tilfinningum s\u00ednum, taktu \u00e1byrg\u00f0 \u00e1 mist\u00f6kunum og biddu barni\u00f0 afs\u00f6kunar. A\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa setjir \u00feig \u00ed \u00feessa st\u00f6\u00f0u hj\u00e1lpar barninu a\u00f0 finna a\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 hlusta\u00f0 og \u00fea\u00f0 hj\u00e1lpar tengingunni ykkar \u00e1 milli. A\u00f0 bi\u00f0jast afs\u00f6kunar s\u00fdnir au\u00f0m\u00fdkt og \u00fear af lei\u00f0andi geta n\u00e6stu skref veri\u00f0 tekin.<\/p>

\u00dev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur, eins og sagt var \u00ed upphafi, munum vi\u00f0 alltaf valda b\u00f6rnunum okkar vonbrig\u00f0um \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt \u00e1 l\u00edfslei\u00f0inni. Ef \u00fe\u00fa getur \u00e1tt vi\u00f0 sektarkenndina og raunverulega be\u00f0ist afs\u00f6kunar geti\u00f0 \u00fei\u00f0 b\u00e6\u00f0i haldi\u00f0 \u00e1fram og noti\u00f0 l\u00edfsins.<\/p>

Heimild: Parents.com<\/em><\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3,55],"tags":[404,191,402,403],"class_list":["post-5273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foreldrar","category-foreldrar-born","tag-atvik","tag-sarsauki","tag-sektarkennd","tag-skomm"],"yoast_head":"\n\u00deegar vi\u00f0 s\u00e6rum b\u00f6rnin okkar \u00f3vart - mamman.is<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mamman.is\/?p=5273\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u00deegar vi\u00f0 s\u00e6rum b\u00f6rnin okkar \u00f3vart - mamman.is\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Alveg sama hversu miki\u00f0 vi\u00f0 viljum verja b\u00f6rnin okkar munu \u00f3h\u00f6pp alltaf eiga s\u00e9r sta\u00f0. 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N\u00fd ranns\u00f3kn s\u00fdnir \u00fe\u00f3 a\u00f0 sektarkennd foreldra hj\u00e1lpar engum, barninu ekki heldur. Allir foreldrar fara \u00ed tilfinningalegt uppn\u00e1m \u00feegar eitthva\u00f0 hendir b\u00f6rnin \u00feeirra. Aftur \u00e1 m\u00f3ti, \u00feegar foreldrar sj\u00e1lfir eiga s\u00f6kina getur sektarkennd og s\u00e1rsaukinn veri\u00f0 \u00f3b\u00e6rilegur. 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