{"id":5973,"date":"2023-08-28T09:24:29","date_gmt":"2023-08-28T09:24:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mamman.is\/?p=5973"},"modified":"2023-08-28T09:24:33","modified_gmt":"2023-08-28T09:24:33","slug":"fyrir-foreldra-thegar-bornin-flytja-ad-heiman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mamman.is\/?p=5973","title":{"rendered":"Fyrir foreldra: \u00deegar b\u00f6rnin flytja a\u00f0 heiman"},"content":{"rendered":"

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A\u00f0 finna r\u00e9tt jafnv\u00e6gi \u00feegar b\u00f6rnin fara a\u00f0 heiman, e\u00f0a \u201eflj\u00faga \u00far hrei\u00f0rinu\u201c getur reynst m\u00f6rgum foreldrum erfitt. \u00dea\u00f0 fer hins vegar eftir \u00fev\u00ed hversu tengd\/ur \u00fe\u00fa ert b\u00f6rnunum, hversu erfitt e\u00f0a au\u00f0velt a\u00f0skilna\u00f0urinn kann a\u00f0 vera.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00dei\u00f0 \u00f3lu\u00f0 upp b\u00f6rn og l\u00f6g\u00f0u\u00f0 miki\u00f0 \u00e1 ykkur og svo kemur a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feau finna s\u00e9r \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0, fara \u00ed samband e\u00f0a flytja af landi brott. \u00c1n\u00e6gjulegt, e\u00f0a hva\u00f0? Kannski ekki alltaf. B\u00f6rnin finna l\u00edka fyrir s\u00f6knu\u00f0i og eiga einnig erfitt me\u00f0 a\u00f0 fara fr\u00e1 heimilinu, kannski fyrir fullt og allt. M\u00f6rgum foreldrum reynist \u00feetta erfitt og kv\u00ed\u00f0v\u00e6nlegt. Hva\u00f0 ef allt ver\u00f0ur ekki \u00ed lagi? Hva\u00f0 getum vi\u00f0 gert?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Samkv\u00e6mt Psychology Today<\/a> er r\u00e1\u00f0lagt fyrir foreldra a\u00f0 greina hvernig tengslin eru \u00e1\u00f0ur en ungmenni\u00f0 flytur a\u00f0 heiman e\u00f0a \u00feegar s\u00fa sta\u00f0a kemur upp.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00d6ruggir foreldrar<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00d6ruggir foreldrar eru \u00feeir sem eru hva\u00f0 fars\u00e6lastir \u00ed \u00feessum st\u00f3ra \u201ea\u00f0skilna\u00f0i\u201c og halda sambandi og hvetja ungmenni\u00f0 til a\u00f0 kanna n\u00fdjar sl\u00f3\u00f0ir. \u00deessir foreldrar horfa \u00e1 heiminn sem \u00f6ruggan sta\u00f0 og hafa sterk f\u00e9lagsleg tengsl og hafa ekki miklar \u00e1hyggjur a\u00f0 missa tengsl vi\u00f0 b\u00f6rnin s\u00edn. \u00dear sem foreldrarnir eru andlega sterkir er l\u00edklegt a\u00f0 hi\u00f0 brottflutta ungmenni s\u00e9 \u00fea\u00f0 einnig. \u00deessi ungmenni eru einnig l\u00edklegri til a\u00f0 vera sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6\u00f0ari og halda s\u00ednum s\u00e9rkennum og eru \u00fear af lei\u00f0andi l\u00edklegri til a\u00f0 standa sig vel \u00ed sk\u00f3la sem og l\u00edfinu almennt.<\/p>\n

For\u00f0unarforeldrar<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00deeir foreldrar sem eiga til a\u00f0 for\u00f0ast \u00e1t\u00f6k e\u00f0a afgrei\u00f0a hlutina flj\u00f3tt geta sakna\u00f0 barnanna sinna \u00ed fyrstu en a\u00f0lagast n\u00fdjum raunveruleika flj\u00f3tt. \u00cd sumum (\u00f6fgafullum) tilfellum geta \u00feau jafnvel fagna\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hafa fengi\u00f0 l\u00edf sitt til baka og gera \u00fea\u00f0 jafnvel opinberlega. Um lei\u00f0 og b\u00f6rn \u00feeirra flytja a\u00f0 heiman eru \u00feeir l\u00edklegri til a\u00f0 halda \u00e1fram me\u00f0 l\u00edf sitt og eru \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0ir me\u00f0 a\u00f0 b\u00f6rnin \u00feeirra hafi samband vi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1, en ekki \u00f6fugt. Ef barni\u00f0 hefur samband var\u00f0andi f\u00e9lagsleg m\u00e1l e\u00f0a s\u00e6r\u00f0ar tilfinningar getur veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 foreldri\u00f0 hafi ekki \u00e1huga \u00e1 a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a \u00feau m\u00e1l en anna\u00f0 vir\u00f0ist vera uppi \u00e1 teningnum \u00feegar barni\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0ir keppni af einhverju tagi, e\u00f0a \u00fea\u00f0 er a\u00f0 kl\u00edfa metor\u00f0astigann. \u00deeir foreldrar eru l\u00edklegir til a\u00f0 blanda s\u00e9r \u00ed m\u00e1lin og eru jafnvel stj\u00f3rnsamir. Vegna \u00feess hve \u00e1rangursdrifnir \u00feeir eru getur veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00feeir hafi samband vi\u00f0 barni\u00f0 bara til a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0 fr\u00e9tta af \u00e1rangri \u00feess. Hins vegar upplifir barni\u00f0 \u00feetta sem sj\u00e1lfselsku \u00fear sem foreldrarnir eru ekki mj\u00f6g \u00e1rei\u00f0anlegir og veita barninu ekki \u00feann stu\u00f0ning sem \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fearfnast.<\/p>\n

Uppteknir e\u00f0a kv\u00ed\u00f0nir foreldrar<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00deeir foreldrar sem eru mj\u00f6g uppteknir \u00ed daglegu l\u00edfi e\u00f0a gl\u00edma vi\u00f0 kv\u00ed\u00f0a eru l\u00edklegastir til a\u00f0 upplifa depur\u00f0 e\u00f0a missi \u00feegar b\u00f6rn \u00feeirra flytja a\u00f0 heima. \u00deeir eru l\u00edklegir til a\u00f0 sakna sambandsins sem \u00feeir \u00e1ttu vi\u00f0 barni\u00f0 (jafnvel \u00fe\u00f3tt sambandi\u00f0 hafi ekki veri\u00f0 s\u00e9rlega gott). \u00deessir foreldrar hafa \u00e1hyggjur af samb\u00f6ndum og vilja a\u00f0 \u00feeir s\u00e9u elska\u00f0ir og f\u00f3lk \u00feurfi \u00e1 \u00feeim a\u00f0 halda og \u00fear af lei\u00f0andi eiga \u00feeir erfi\u00f0ara me\u00f0 a\u00f0 sleppa hendinni af barninu. \u00deeir vilja oft f\u00e1 meiri athygli fr\u00e1 barninu og \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 alltaf \u00ed sambandi og \u00feeir s\u00e9u minntir \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 g\u00f3\u00f0a \u00ed sambandi \u00feeirra og vilja vera n\u00e1l\u00e6gt \u00fev\u00ed. \u00deeir eru einnig l\u00edklegri til a\u00f0 hafa \u00e1hyggjur af f\u00e9lagsl\u00edfi barnsins og einnig frammist\u00f6\u00f0u \u00feess \u00ed sk\u00f3la e\u00f0a \u00ed vinnu. \u00cd s\u00e9rst\u00f6kum tilfellum getur sl\u00edkt gengi\u00f0 \u00fat \u00ed \u00f6fgar; \u00feeir geta veri\u00f0 allt of afskiptasamir e\u00f0a \u201ehangi\u00f0 \u00ed\u201c barninu. \u00deetta getur orsaka\u00f0 a\u00f0 barni\u00f0 vill ekki kanna heiminn og\/e\u00f0a veri\u00f0 \u00f3sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6tt, \u00fear sem foreldri\u00f0 hindrar barni\u00f0 \u00ed sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6\u00f0i.<\/p>\n

\u00d3ttaslegnir foreldrar<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00deessir foreldrar eru \u00f3l\u00edkir hinum \u00fev\u00ed \u00feeir eru b\u00e6\u00f0i kv\u00ed\u00f0nir og for\u00f0ast n\u00e1in samb\u00f6nd. \u00deeir geta fari\u00f0 fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera of n\u00e1l\u00e6gt barninu og svo algerlega lokast og vilja ekki nein samskipti. \u00cd \u00f6fgafyllri d\u00e6mum geta \u00feessir foreldrar or\u00f0i\u00f0 fjandsamlegir, jafnvel, og \u00e1saka barni\u00f0 um afskiptaleysi e\u00f0a v\u00e6na \u00fea\u00f0 um a\u00f0 elska \u00fe\u00e1 ekki. Eins og sj\u00e1 m\u00e1, er \u00feetta mynstur l\u00edklegt til a\u00f0 valda barninu mikilli streitu og \u00e1byrg\u00f0artilfinningu og getur \u00fea\u00f0 sveiflast fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 finnast \u00fea\u00f0 vera eitt \u00ed heiminum og afskiptalaust. Sl\u00edkar uppeldisa\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0ur bj\u00f3\u00f0a upp \u00e1 a\u00f0 barni\u00f0 ver\u00f0i s\u00ed\u00f0ur sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6tt og s\u00e9 hr\u00e6tt vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 kanna heiminn.<\/p>\n

A\u00f0 horfast hei\u00f0arlega \u00ed augu vi\u00f0 sig sj\u00e1lfa\/n getur l\u00e1ti\u00f0 \u00feig sj\u00e1 hvers konar foreldri \u00fe\u00fa ert og hvernig samskiptum vi\u00f0 barni\u00f0 \u00feitt er h\u00e1tta\u00f0. B\u00f6rnin okkar ver\u00f0a l\u00edklega ekki heima a\u00f0 eil\u00edfu \u00feannig \u00fea\u00f0 er ekki \u00far vegi a\u00f0 athuga hvort h\u00e6gt s\u00e9 a\u00f0 breyta um \u201etakt\u00edk\u201c til a\u00f0 a\u00f0skilna\u00f0urinn ver\u00f0i sem au\u00f0veldastur fyrir alla. \u00der\u00e1tt fyrir a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 sj\u00e1lfa\/n sig \u00ed einhverju af \u00feessum mynstrum, ekki l\u00e1ta \u00fea\u00f0 hafa \u00e1hrif \u00e1 hversu oft \u00fe\u00fa hefur samband vi\u00f0 barni\u00f0 \u00feitt e\u00f0a hvernig samskiptunum er h\u00e1tta\u00f0. Sni\u00f0ugt er a\u00f0 \u00e1kve\u00f0a t\u00edma \u00ed hverri viku \u00fear sem foreldri\/foreldrar og barn\/b\u00f6rn \u201etaka st\u00f6\u00f0una.\u201c Best er a\u00f0 gera sl\u00edkt \u00ed pers\u00f3nu e\u00f0a \u00ed s\u00edma, ekki \u00ed gegnum textaskilabo\u00f0.<\/p>\n

Ekki h\u00e6tta samskiptum vi\u00f0 barni\u00f0 e\u00f0a refsa \u00fev\u00ed fyrir a\u00f0 hafa of oft samband e\u00f0a of sjaldan a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00ednu mati.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gef\u00f0u barninu \u00fe\u00ednu t\u00edma og r\u00fdmi til a\u00f0 finna \u00fat \u00far eigin l\u00edfi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Barni\u00f0 m\u00e1 gera mist\u00f6k til a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra og halda \u00e1fram. Og \u00fe\u00fa getur svo alltaf veri\u00f0 til sta\u00f0ar \u00feegar \u00fea\u00f0 sn\u00fdr aftur til \u00fe\u00edn til huggunar, hvatningar og stu\u00f0nings.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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